James,

I am the wife that may not love her husband anymore.

As I think and write, I keep coming back to my struggle with vulnerability and trust. There have been times when I opened up to my husband about something important to me and I was met with judgment, dismissal, correction, or a lack of listening. Those moments severely eroded my trust in my husband to provide me “emotionally safe” grounds for sharing with him. Why should I bare my soul to someone who is likely to stomp all over my feelings? (I’ve come 47 years by relying almost exclusively on myself for my emotional needs, so to cut him out is no big thing for me – it’s comfortable in a perverse kind of way.) I have done my best to communicate to my husband about how he treats me and so far success has been intermittent. In my mind, I’ve given him all the answers (through verbal conversation and the sharing of articles that pertain to what I’m needing or how things have gotten this way for me from childhood) he needs in order to figure this out and he still hasn’t. I *want* to love him again, I just can’t right now because the trust is so broken.

I have no way of knowing if your wife is feeling any of these things. I simply wanted to share a little of my story with you in case it sparked something new that you and the others posting here haven’t already discussed.

I want the best for you and your wife!

B and E’s Mom