Dear Birdy,

I admire how you are handling your own matters at such a young age. Truth be said, what you are feeling is normal actually and this disconnect is more glaring for you because you miss connection and companionship.

It’s hard being alone. I won’t shy away from saying this and I don’t buy the whole we have to stop needing people in our life to be “independent” – we are inter-dependant to be precise and need someone to understand and connect though of course, we can do most things on our own.

Maybe you could head to a local religious center and share your thoughts with an elderly person there, sort of like a kind and friendly soul…not asking to become religious, more like just to have a friendly, sensible and caring person to talk to…maybe go help out at a children’s home..when I was away from everyone and feeling anxious, disconnected, that effort to drag myself out of the house every week to see the kids, spend time with them was somehow really spirtiually uplifting. Most of them have really tragic backgrounds but somehow their strength, laughter and the happy energy of little kids brings me to life and makes me feel less alone somehow.

I know it feels weird to do things alone and most of these friends are at a different stage in their life but I think having just 1-2 meaningful connection really helps.

Having just someone over for simple activities makes things more bearable.

Regarding perfectionism and anxiety, many of us have this problem but I think with time and social support, you will feel more relaxed. Tthe whole grade 0 thing….well I had this habit of ripping off pages the moment I made 1 mistake in a spelling or something here and there – I was that um….perfectionist

So you ain’t alone in this at all 🙂

I am kinda curious though, what happened at 15? What do you mean by cultural issues?

Hope to hear from you soon.

– Nina