Dear dreaming715:

Diagnoses are collections of symptoms decided on by the professional people who decided what symptoms to put together in any one category and what to call the category. So your boyfriend may have all the symptoms, or a few of them. Even if he doesn’t fit the diagnosis exactly, what you observed is true to him. He may fit 70% of the criteria, so he may not be diagnosed with This or That, but much of what is true about people who have all the criteria is still true for him.

You would like to have more meaningful, emotional conversations with him but his ability to converse ion these matters is limited and you know the nature of his limitations. One is that he gets confused about how a topic is related to anything. So what you can do, is ease his distress about feeling confused by explaining to him first how the topic is related or your intent in asking a particular question. Let him know of your intent of asking/ picking up a topic and how it is connected to the bigger picture of the interaction with him. Make a habit of it and see if his distress is reduced as a result and he is able to talk more.

Be gentle with him otherwise. Maybe you can get specific tips on communicating with him from reading about the diagnosis from reliable sources.

anita