Dear Kristin123:

Tips on how to unlearn things:

1. Expect it to be a long, gradual, none linear process: moving backward and forward, then backward and sideways and not moving at all, along the general move forward.

2. Be gentle with yourself as you move backward or not move at all- there is no way it can possibly be an always-forward process, and it cannot be instantaneous.

3. Stay away from interactions with people who, in those interactions, promote the social convention or otherwise thinking or belief that you want to unlearn; similar to not watching TV anymore so to avoid the ads.

4. Self talk: when you notice a thought carrying on the message you want to unlearn (a message that is not true to reality), tell yourself the message you want to learn (the message that is true to reality).

5. Pay attention to the people around you- examine how the messages you want to unlearn are indeed incongruent with reality and indeed are harming the people, causing them anxiety, distress and dysfunction.

anita