Dear Shirly:

More thoughts, about actively picking instead of waiting to be picked: the good things about it, is if you are waiting to be picked, you are more inclined to follow social convention of what will attract men. There is a competition of sort: who looks better (and better is, by current social convention, like you mentioned- a bigger behind and breasts… the big-behind-is-attractive is, by the way, a more recent convention, heavily and successfully marketed). You don’t have to participate in that competition. You don’t have to look more feminine than others, so to attract the men doing the picking.

When you do the picking, you decide how to do it. And I mean picking in any area- you decide. You go for what YOU value. You value a kind, intelligent, scientifically oriented guy- you approach him with your kindness, intelligence and scientific orientation. This will be the Shirley way, not the social convention way.

In other words, you don’t have to develop a ..big behind (ha ha). Develop further what you already are and want to be more of!

anita