Dear colourpopz:

You wrote: “He did not give me enough assurance and security about this relationship. So after much thinking, I suddenly said I wanted to break up… I wanted him to at least convince me that this could work or make promises that he would try harder. But he just gave up.”

He wasn’t able to give you the assurance and security about the relationship and he communicated that to you just that before he left the country (“we started dating despite BOTH OF US not hopeful about the uncertain future”). So it wasn’t reasonable or realistic to expect such assurance and security.

When you suggested the break up you didn’t fully mean it. You suggested the breakup so to motivate him to talk you out of it and to provide you with the assurance and security he wasn’t able to provide you.

And now, I understand, he is definitely not interested in a LDR.

Before I try to answer your question, my question is:

Is the relationship absolutely over, as far as he is concerned?

anita