Hi Nina,

Thank you for your response.

For whatever reason, he says this has never been an issue for him in past relationships, which I suppose is an attempt to make me feel that I am the one here making it into a problem. My friends say what you say though.

He says he is indeed “working on it” — but in the meantime, there are always slip-ups and it causes me stress, interferes with my work. Then add the stress of thinking “his exes were ok with this, why can’t I just accept it?” and I feel myself sinking into a sad, lonely, self-critical mood.

To answer your question, we have talked about it and made agreements, but I am not sure if we really have that understanding, and I am not sure how to enforce those agreements.

AH