Hello All,
Want to share my life story with you so that
I can welcome your suggestions and try to
apply them.
2 years back , all of sudden after a party,
one of my close friend after drinking (dont exactly know how much) passed away in the
morning. It was a very sudden loss because
he was fit and fine before that. I am
not exaclty sure how did this happen
and still at times wonder.
I some how came mange to survive this
loss but after 2 months a ache started in
my chest and suddenly my anxiety level
with high (because I was told that my
friend died of heart attack) and from then
i have been lost and associated my anxiety
with my friends loss and life has been
a complete downhill.
Now I have so much of mixed feelings like
How can I be happy if my friend died?
Any small pain in my head triggers
the memories of my friends loss!
Then I also feel ashamed of myself
by thinking if my friend is somewhere(heaven)
how dissapointed he must me with me.
Fear of uncertain death!
I completely live by all the above memories
and replay them continuosly so that i
can get solution.
This has affected my sleeping and i hardly
sleep at night.
I have tried yoga, meditation, positive
thinking and it has helped alot and i am
definately better now. But its just
that I am not able to sleep peacefully.
And whenever I couldnt sleep much
the whole above circle starts again.
Now i believe that letting go my past
means having peaceful sleep and that never
happens and i am still stuck fighting
the thoughts.
Please help me to come out of this circle
so that i can come out of the being happy
guilt!