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Reply To: Let her go?

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#121926
Anonymous
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Dear blkhwkdwn1:

A sane workout program may be better in the long run than an insanity workout. You can do the insanity program but long term, need to do sanity, I say. Your misspellings don’t bother me. It will be a huge improvement in your life if you learn to listen instead of assuming and closing your brain to what a person is really saying.

When you think she means X but are not sure, ask her: did you mean X? Oh, no? What did you mean? Ask for information and clarification, not in an argumentative way. When you learn to listen to what she is saying, you are getting to know her. When you assume and stop listening to her, you don’t learn about her and no progress is made in the relationship, not good progress anyway.

And a woman (man, child, anyone) loves to be attentively listened to, to be known. (This is why competent psychotherapy feels so good: a competent therapist really listens, really gets to know the client. Learn and practice this skill and she will be drawn to spend more time with you.

anita