Thanks for everyone’s views and replies. What I need now is to know how to cope everyday. Today has been such a struggle. I have to start my recovery essentially all over because he led me on. I keep repeating to myself to remember the facts. Those things he did which were mean, and that I won’t ever change that and that I left him for a reason. But still it’s hard. I feel like I’m a really sane person with a side of insanity. I know I’m smart, I know I deserve better, I know I should move on. I can’t even fathom any relationship right now even just a social one. I am at a point I never thought I’d be which is full of anxiety and fear. I was always so outgoing and full of life. Believed in people and had an open heart. To my own demise in a way. I’m trying not to let this ruin my view of love and compassion. But I’m really on the cusp of not giving a shit to be blunt. To just stay alone and not care for ppl in general almost. truthfully, people have approached me lately at random you know ppl will just strike up convo with u in a store about something and I shy away, I feel timid and sometimes it takes everything I have in my body not to break down in tears and loose it. I’ve NEVER been like this. I apologize if I am rambling or abusing the board or idk but I don’t have any friends at all. Another thing he helped make a reality. I have not a soul to talk to. So thank you very much all for listening and I really appreciate it.