Dear islandgirl17:

I say: move on.

Once you told him about your nights with the other man, in details; those details are stuck in his brain. You told him and you can’t un-tell him. On paper, once he chose to continue the relationship with you, he … should let go of those details. In real life, for many of us, when those details take hold in our brains, the neurons establishing themselves around those juicy details, it is too much to handle. After all, you weren’t able to handle his details, when you found out he cheated on you.

Thing is, beyond this problem, you haven’t been happy with who he is. I am sure you are attached to him, but compatibility is not there. So I would say: move on. Have a compatible man in your life, as your intimate partner. Choose the man carefully. And then, see to it that he doesn’t share with you details you cannot handle, and don’t share with him details that he can’t.

anita