Dear Anita,

I didn’t find it offensive, and really appreciated your input about freedom and seeking independence. I think when i left home for university for 3 years at 23, that was me trying to seek independence in general (not specifically from my mother) and since i have been seeking freedom in the ‘wrong’ ways perhaps, as they a temporary and not a long term solution.

I suppose i thought i might stay somewhere where i had been travelling, meet someone, or get a job a liked somehow. That never happened and so I’m still seeking freedom/independence elsewhere – rather than in my home town where it is possible too. That comment you made about seeking independence really struck a chord with me and i suppose that’s more where id like in put or any advice.

I spoke to a work colleague yesterday about travelling/setting up foundations somewhere and we seem to be on a similar page. Everything feels like such a big compromise, one we don’t want to make and therefore often do nothing – unhappy with all the options. I feel the years passing me by though and things i yearned to do seem impossible or too hard to obtain without huge sacrifice.

I think i will not go travelling for now. It doesn’t feel right. Its just a temporary solution to an ongoing problem and i don’t want to go away to get away – rather go because i want to – i still need to come back and its the back bit i suppose i need to not be afraid to come back to. What do you think?