Dear John:

The saying that you can’t have a good relationship with a woman until you have a good relationship with your mother- well, lets see… if a man’s mother is abusive and the man has a submissive relationship with his mother, then that will indeed prepare the man to a submissive relationship with an abusive woman. Absolutely, and not unheard of.

So let it not freak you out.

I am not surprised you are aware of your anger toward your mother; how can you not when you see her the way she is. When we delude ourselves as to who our parent is, then we are often not aware of our anger, but we are angry inside, and it shows in much dysfunction.

I think you are on the right track, if you persist is seeing your mother the way she is, you will see more and more YOU the way you are, and you will like what you see, more and more.

Already staying the night… things have progressed quickly. Hope the intimacy is growing, glad for you if it is a good relationship, very much so!

anita