Dear John:

You are welcome.

I think that the woman you are dating is fortunate to be dating you.It would be distorted thinking on your part, if I may say so, to think that you owe her to be employed, to be making money, or to live on your own.. none of these things. You don’t need to confess anything. If she asks you a question, don’t lie to her; no part-truths intended to mislead. But no confessionals.

Wish you adapted this mindset: this is really none of her business what your employment and money status are like. If you were to be married and have children, then it would be her business. Not at this point. You also don’t owe her your CPTSD diagnosis.

About the CPTSD- I recommend you don’t share this with her. I don’t know if it is an official diagnosis. Last I read psychiatrists were not keen on it because if accepted into the DSM, it would replace dozens if not hundreds of existing diagnoses and that will make a mess out of billing insurance companies and such.

Share with her some, observe and listen to her response: does she asks you questions? Does she share about herself and her life? Talk about her challenges as well. Everyone has problems and challenges; everyone is anxious sometimes. Let her share as well. Ask her questions.

And after your job at the other woman’s place, let your girlfriend (I’ll call her that, for simplicity sake) know you are done with the job, so that she doesn’t worry. You can offer to see her for a short time after the job so that she knows it was only a job…

I am glad you are busy with a new girlfriend, a small job here and there. No such thing as too-small of a progress.

anita