I´m not married, never have been and enduring a heartbreak from getting dump, in part because I couldnt relax. Because I was uptight.

My situation is entirely different to yours. But here´s my personal perspective.

If you love him and you really want to save your marriage you should maybe try therapy. I sort of know how you feel (maybe) that you can´t trust your feelings and emotions with him anymore because you´re afraid of getting hurt again and blaming yourself for trusting him and letting yourself be exposed.

There´s two things that can happen from this:

1- you keep your guard up and maybe ruin your marriage because you´re not open to trying it out again with him
2- Letting your guard down maybe things work perfectly, maybe they don´t but at least you can rest in peace knowing you gave it your all. If your marriage does indeed fail you can at least know you gave it your all.

Forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do. You´re not forgiving his previous behaviour. He´s trying to change and you´re not forgiving what he did in the past. Yes! your relationship was rocky and built a protective hard to care for yourself. But are you willing to give it another chance or do you simply wish to have nothing to do with it?

This article about emotions is really good. it might help you unclutter everything you´ve been building up inside yourself. http://www.mkprojects.com/emotions

Wishing you all the best and that you can love and be loved again.