Dear Laion Pessoa:

I think your therapist has great insight (your last paragraph).

I made a mistake in my last post to you where I wrote: “You loath her”, meaning your mother.
Correction: you loved your mother from the beginning, as all children do, and you still long for her love (as well as your father’s).

Back to your therapist’s insight: I remember when my therapist came up with a similar insight. He told me: “you think that your mother is chasing you (to love her), but it is you chasing her.” And it was true only I didn’t know it- I was the one chasing her to love me, waiting for her to finally love me… and years later, I realized why I was chasing and waiting for her to love me… because she didn’t love me so far.

Accepting that my own mother did not and does not love me has been the most difficult thing to be aware of and endure.

I am thinking you are inaccurately projecting your parents/ mother into your boyfriend. This is very common. I didn’t understand this part of your last post: “I felt as if he was there to call me and ask me to come back home for mim… but, then, why didn’t I call him to come with me, you know?”

anita