Thank you Anita for the answer.

buckleg08 – Your answers just came at the right moment… Never until now i ever had the courage to watch again the pictures of her, the ones in my phone… I hidden the albums three months ago and never until now i have seen them again, i watched again just to delete all the pictures, that was hard, i can’t hide that i broke in tears, so badly… I just broke in tears and deleted all the pictures, i don’t know if i feel bad or better – i think i don’t feel anything special, i think i miss a lot the girl she used to be, before our break up happened.
I’m also conscious that i’m only fantasizing, she would’ve never been again the girlfriend she used to be. I hope one day i will be able to look at one of our pictures without breaking down and having panic attacks, like now.

Also, i’m trying to let it go, but everyday, anytime, i’m looking for the fault of mine, i haven’t been the best / perfect in that relationship but i have never gone against her or the relationship…
But i don’t want to blame it on her… I know i will never have an answer from her, an answer to my “why”. But i don’t know how to make my brain realize it.

Thank you for the answer, it came at the right moment.