Dear Esther,

The point of being present and mindful is to have a calm state of mind. The past is something we can’t change and the future is something we can’t know entirely for sure.

I think some amount of objectivity is needed for such big decisions. The past and future are guides at best.

Think of yourself walking a path and suddenly you are at crossroads.

These crossroads represent the options you know. The negative emotions you feel in relation to the past have two roles here – to make you think of limitations and how to work around those limitations.

The future seems like the destination you want to reach from taking one of the roads.

How does mindfulness and being present help here at all?

It helps in making you aware of your own emotions, the unpleasant ones especially when evaluating your choices. It helps you to differentiate between being emotional due to the past or being concerned.

When you are mindful, you are able to see that despite this entire exercise of evaluation, you still have this moment with you. You are not in your past or a possible future unless you think about it, ruminate on it.

I usually just take a good old piece of paper and write down the problem, possible choices, possible constraints and then take advice from others. Then if I still can’t decide cuz I am too emotionally tied to the problem, I think of the life I want 10 years from now. I ask myself – “What will I regret more?”

But yeah, I am not Wiz at this.
Most of the time I am a mess, lol.

Regards
Nina