Dear johndoe97:

I hope you abstain from cocaine/ other drugs and that you no longer deal drugs.

Regarding your girlfriend: I think that her history of abuse has a lot to do with her sexual behavior with men. I got the impression, from reading your long post, that she is very much a people-pleaser, and that includes being a men- pleaser. Maybe she felt not worthy enough, and figured something like: Why would a guy want to be with me unless he gets the use of my body? So she had let them the use of her body. It could be that simple.

At one point she told you she wanted to be alone. Maybe at times, but lacking a strong support system at home, and having a history of abuse, I imagine she has a strong need to be with other people, to have the connection she did not and does not have at home; a connection that will comfort her distress about her history and loneliness.

Reads to me that she has a strong drive to please, and tries to be the perfect girlfriend for you, jumping through hoops, like you wrote. Problem is, as I see it, if she is distressed, in a moment of loneliness, she may make herself, again, sexually available for other men. It has been her pattern, something she was inclined to do in the past, and I don’t see a reason to expect it to change, without healing work on her part.

What do you think about my input so far?

anita