Dear clemmonce:

So is there confusion or just loneliness? You seem very clear about the unhealthy Lose (for you) relationship. There is no reason to expect her to change: she is not attending psychotherapy, is she? It is most likely to be the same if you got back together.

Loneliness is not confusing, it is unpleasant. It makes you want to be with someone. That is the nature of it.

If you got back with her, you will have to expend a lot of energy trying to please her so that she can be nice to you for a little while, and then, please her more and in greater ways so that she will be nice to you again- that is a lot of energy. Why not use your energy to find and start a healthy Win-Win relationship?

anita