Dear alicharlie:

To heal it may take competent psychotherapy for you. Maybe your father can pay for such? If I was him, I would feel that I owe you the best therapy for you my money can buy. If he will be willing to pay for your therapy, for whatever reason, that may be a very good idea.

Of course, you (at four) were not the reason he left the marriage. Children naturally believe they are the reason why bad things happen, this is because a young child is not yet separated, mentally, from her family.

You asked how to heal your relationship with your father. Because he believes he is always right, it means that in a relationship with him, whenever there is a conflict, he will point to you as the one who is always wrong.

The way I see it at this point, either you have no relationship with him at all, or you have a superficial, polite relationship with him (and he pays for your therapy!).

anita