I guess I just miss the freedom of disposable income and not having to worry about whether or not I could afford to go for that pint with a friend or that lunch with my mum.

I just feel like a bit of a failure: I got really quite unwell while teaching through stress and anxiety but I still feel like I should have been able to manage it. If I had, I would be on much better money by now. My partner doesn’t get it: he’s quite minimalist and sees work as a means to an end. He can cover his expenses and has about £30 left over per month for himself and he gets by just fine. I have about £100 left over and it doesn’t feel like enough.

The children thing isn’t as much of an issue but I sometimes feel suffocated when everyone around me seems to be having kids. I work in a female-heavy environment and most talk is about kids or grandkids.

Is it so wrong to not be that bothered?

I always feel like I’m on the cusp of some big realisation but it never ever happens.