Dear Anita,

My girlfriend says many things out of anger, helplessness, aversion or disgust for me. Bashing women with red hair is one of them. Calling “sluts” every one of three women I’ve had casual sexual encounters in my distant past (last one was more than six years ago I reckon). She also called me many other names which I never liked, but her point was that after abuse she suffered at my hands, I’m more than fit for these names.

But let us assume I have flirted with these women with direct intent to covertly escalate into a full blown affair, the way she sees it. I have probably been serving for around a year or maybe a bit more, but still less than one and a half year (when problems in our relationship started, though this was largely unrelated with lying or flirting at that time).