Hi Ginger263,

I’m sorry to hear you are in such a difficult place right now. Dealing with mental illness, especially if the person is a family member who does not seek help for the illness, can lead you to their dark place.

I can see from your writing that you truly love your mother and I’m assuming your mother has showed you this kind of love in the past. We don’t know if the hurtful words your mother says is the by product of her bi-polar or if she does this way, but from what I’ve read I feel part of it is due to the bi-polar disorder.

At this point, I think the best thing you can do have a conversation with your mother and tell her, when she’s not in one of her episodes, about the need for her to get help. You need to explain to her that her physical and emotional abuse has hurt you and your children and if she doesn’t get help, she will lose you and her grandchildren.

Your responsibility is to your husband and children and to provide them with a safe environment to grow. Sit down with your husband and look over your finances and determine if you can move out on your own. See if its possible for you brother and father to help out looking after the kids when you move out. People are more resilient than they believe they are. I believe you can figure out a childcare option until your children are school age.

You will also need to sit down with your children to explain to them what’s going on. You need to reassure them they are loved and you need their help. Young kids are more aware of their surroundings they you know. By assuming they don’t know what’s going on or understand complex ideas is a disservice to their intelligence. They will pick up on your worries and anxiety.

I don’t know if any of my advice is helpful, but all I can say is, breath, hug your children everyday and keep moving towards a better situation for you and your family.