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Dear yongsua:
So you hide your strong emotions with a smile. What if your friends only appear “calm and balanced”- maybe they too hide strong emotions. And if so, every individual feels he is the only one…
The “complexity of (your) emotions” will become simplified once you take on the habit of expressing your emotions to others. Start with disciplined expression, using words to express your anger, for example, instead of … let’s say breaking things. Or sadness, use words instead of crying, if you can do it. This way you start to release, gently, gradually, the pressure of keeping your emotions locked inside you.
Gentle, gradual opening and sharing will not overwhelm you or others, and may encourage others to do the same.
anita