Dear Julie:

Your message in your last post is a good one, on the surface of it, but your post clearly shows your obsession with and focus on your mother (been there myself, obsessed and focused on my mother, for many, many years):

“I am waking up more and more each time I am speaking to HER. SHE made… SHE rang me… I don’t need HER. I will allow the children to see HER…MY MOTHER is acting like SHE hates me..SHE is cold and rude…I know MY MUM feels sad…I think SHE just thinks…MY MOTHER and siblings are the cause… I won’t’ allow the guilt that SHE is my mother pull me back in. MY MOTHER won’t ever learn… HER behviour…SHE will say… SHE is fully aware…yet SHE offered no support at all… SHE only has herself to blame…I cannot even speak to HER anymore…SHE was telling me SHE was staying…I feel SHE likes to stick the knife in…I won’t allow HER…HER admitting..”

And your motivation in this obsession/ preoccupation, focus is evident in this sentence in your last post: “My mother WON’T EVER LEARN her behviour is unacceptable if I keep going back to her and letting her visit.”-

You are trying to TEACH your mother that her behavior is unacceptable, so that she will become a loving mother.

But you can’t teach a person to love you, you can’t make her. It is only when you accept this, that you will be able to move on toward physical/ mental health.

anita

* Thank you mdeal72 for your comment.