Dear Harry:

I have been impressed from the very beginning of your thread, and most impressed by your last post- impressed with your level not only of rational thinking/ intelligence, but your level of emotional intelligence, especially given your age. As a matter of fact, I don’t often see this level of emotional intelligence in people of any age.

So, I feel positive about you and your situation. You make a lot of sense. You dealt with anxiety before, you can tell that you are feeling less anxious than before. You are also aware that you experienced relief of anxiety when holding her hand and talking, so you know that works and you can do more of that. You are aware of other factors and, yes, I think you have what it takes to make it in this relationship, to do well. I am so positive that I am excited for you.

Be aware that feelings change, like the weather (my therapist used to say). Expect changes. Expect anxiety to go up and down over time. Calm yourself when anxious, alone, or via interactions with friends and with her. Rely on your rational intelligence to serve you well when you are calm (the overthinking fueled by anxiety is very ineffective).

And do post here anytime.

anita