Dear Ellie:

You wrote: “I can be quite guarded… afraid of being hurt…and am working on increasing my self love.”
Reads to me that what is keeping you from having a long term relationship is fear, not lack of self love.

You wrote: “I wonder if my independence is a turn off to other men”- maybe it is your efforts “to end things with the other person before it got too serious” that succeeds in turning off men.

You wrote: “I’m starting to second guess my intuition”- a definition of intuition: the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning. Problem is, when fear is strong, fear is that “something immediate” in the definition.

There is a way, or there are ways to break through the fear and find love.

Does my reply speak to you?
anita