Dear littleme29:

You are welcome. Your last sentence: “I just don’t know what to do to help.”- the problem with your quest to help him (and in so doing, to help yourself) is that he already found his “help”. He found his help in alcohol and cocaine and going out with friends to consume these two things.

He is already “helping” himself, so there is no space for you helping him.

It is only if and when he no longer help himself the ways he is, that there will be a space for any possible help from you (or from anyone else).

I think this is a powerless situation for you. It is like being in a sinking ship and watching it sink.

anita