Dear learningmimi:

I didn’t understand the last question: what do you do to relate: what do you mean by “to relate”?

You wrote: “The more I set boundaries, the more distance I receive and lack of support (from your mother, primarily?)-

When a family member/ any person distances themselves and withdraw support from you because you are trying to take care of yourself (setting boundaries), that means they don’t love you.

I know, I know… we as (adult) children cannot stomach that, can we? “My own mother doesn’t love me? Why that is impossible…” Goes the thinking, isn’t it?

And yet, as unpalatable and unacceptable as the truth is, it is still the truth.

And so, a stranger, like me- never have met you in person, never will, I love you more than your mother (again, unthinkable, isn’t it?) because I want you to take care of yourself, to have peace of mind, to have a chance to fulfil your career passion and to have a good life. Therefore, I recommend: do take care of yourself, do follow your career passion. Unfortunately, reads to me like it would take distancing yourself from any family member (and any person) who punishes you for taking care of yourself (by withdrawing support).

anita