Dear learningmimi:

It’s been such a long time since I read any book, a self help book, that I don’t remember any. To create those boundaries in a healthy assertive way, you have to have the courage to do so, to decide, for example, that you are no longer going to financially support others and let them know: ” I will no longer give you money. I am letting you know this, so that you have the opportunity to plan your life financially, knowing there will not be further support from me”

You say it to the person/s, and you don’t wait there for them to say: “Okay. I love you anyway.” You don’t wait for an answer, an approval, a permission- you state it. Before you say it, you prepare for their reaction which would be (from the other thread) to punish you by withdrawing support/ love- you anticipate it and you go on living without their (very conditional, for purchase, really) support.

anita