Dear Saskia,

You want a loving girlfriend and you don’t want a child. Your vision and view of life is different from hers. These can differ to some extent in a couple but there needs to some basic meeting point and some minor adjustment from both ends to make it work.

However, I believe that these differences shouldn’t happen on big life issues like raising a child or not. Otherwise there is resentment and a feeling of being sitfled over time. Don’t raise a child if you dont want to and are absolutely certain of this. Don’t do it just for her.

When I say be brave and have more confidence, see the person who you have evolved from 10 years ago. Be brave like you have been. Be confident that life will go on despite anything and you will be alright.

Honor your own wishes even though ending things hurts and it’s scary to feel alone. I know you have feelings for her still but you gotta see eye to eye on the big stuff in life. Sometimes, love isn’t enough to make a relationship last. It’s not fair for her to change herself in such a major way for you and vice versa.

I hope that clears things up a bit.

Regards
Nina