Dear bricklady:

Your username: brick lady gives me a clue, maybe, to your situation. Your desire to be in this relationship is very strong, like a brick. Yet, it reads in Wikipedia (entry: brick) that earthquakes in the early 20th century revealed weakness of unreinforced bricks in earthquake prone areas because of cracks and crumbles that form during earthquakes. So steel reinforcement was used to hold the bricks together during earthquakes, and the old bricks were replaced by reinforced bricks in buildings.

I am thinking the “steel reinforcement” in your case, regarding this relationship, would be keeping your thoughts, feelings and behavior as congruent as possible with reality. Relationships are vulnerable to earthquakes and do need reinforcement.

anita