I have been seeing a counselor since September. Recently I discovered through these sessions is that I’ve actually always had these anxious, angry, sad feelings even before I met him. When I met him, he made me forget all these insecurities until we broke up, until I learned what he did when we were broken up and what I did in reaction to that. Overall I learned that I don’t love myself nearly as much as I should. Previous relationships and childhood memories attributed to these feelings, it’s just that these feelings sprouted again because they weren’t dealt with previously.

I am working on loving myself more, being grateful for what I have and living life in the moment instead of the future of the past. The journey is rather difficult, but it is nice to know that he is there supporting me every step of the way. He isn’t a crutch, but more of a rock when I am feeling weak. So I guess I answered my own question then, I did make the right decision by working on my relationship. I just have to work on myself more.