Dear A:

You are very welcome. If it helps, post anytime. When I am at the computer, I will reply (unless we get swallowed by the massive spamming of the last few days)

The love you are referring to is the Agape love (Christianity) or Metta: the compassion and universal loving-kindness concept in Buddhism, a selfless, non-attachment love. Not possible, I believe, in a personal, intimate relationship. But from afar, perhaps.

You wrote: ” I can still feel what he is feeling… Sometimes, particularly when I am overcome with grief, I can feel that it is actually him feeling this, and that is when it becomes a struggle.”-

These two lines clearly describe the nature of strong attachment. In your mind, when you feel the intensity of the attachment to him, there is no difference between you and him. It is as if you and him are one unit, feeling the same.

Your pain is evident in your words and I wish you were not in pain. I am sure you wish that too, of course. Take care of yourself these days, and nights. Be very gentle to yourself, kind.

Will be back in ten, twelve hours or so. Good night to you.

anita