Dear mapnerd:

You stated you want clarity. Reads to me that this is what happened:

The rational mapnerd made the correct choice: to end the relationship with an active alcoholic. You still felt attached to him but you stayed away, knowing you made the right choice.

You were still emotionally attached to him and missed him terribly. He called you and you HOPED there was a change in his drinking and that the two of you can get together. But instead, he told you there was another woman in his life. This revelation, considering your strong attachment to him, the fact that he still tells you he loves you, and the thought and images of a new woman in his life- all that caused you to take a leave of your senses. In other words, the Rational Mapnerd departed, and all that was left was the Emotional Mapnerd.

For well being we need our Rational self and our Emotional self, both present, both working together to promote healthy living. So, please invite Rational Mapnerd back.

The reason you left him, his drinking, and resulting behaviors, still exists. He is still an active alcoholic. This time, when you re-end this relationship, make a plan how to manage your attachment to him. Also plan what to do if and when he contacts you again, so when it happens, you will be prepared, have a plan of action.

anita