Dear Human:

What you said to her and my comments:

“I’ve been confused/ uncertain.. I’ve come to the possible realization that those feelings stem from my lack of life experience”- I think the confusion and uncertainty stem from the life experience that you did have.

“In order to gain any understanding on.. love, I think I need to have context and experience to learn from”-  the most important experience you have is that of your childhood relationships with your parents. Those were your Formative Years- you learned a lot then, past tense.

“I don’t know anything outside of you”- yes you do, as I pointed to above. You don’t know a relationship with a girlfriend outside of her, but the most powerful relationship/s in your life have been in progress for two decades.

“Actually, I did abandon her. By not fully choosing her every day… I deserted her. Like a precious fragrant flower.. I failed to water, I left alone in countless ways to wither in the dry hot heat”- is this a description of your childhood experience: were you abandoned, unchosen, left to wither?

anita