Dear Nikkikappa:

Anxiety (lasting fear when there is no imminent and present danger) leads to overthinking. The thinking brain tries to resolve the distress of anxiety by collecting evidence, analyzing, trying to solve a problem.

Problem is… there is no problem in this relationship. You are anxious because of a previous relationship, previous experiences.

Tend to the anxiety itself- if possible for you, competent psychotherapy will be the best place to attend to the anxiety and heal from your past emotional hurts. Otherwise, expressing your feelings of the past (feelings that get re-activated again and again in the present) will help. Maybe in a free support group, in some safe context.

Maybe it will help you to express your feelings here, typing away here-

anita