Dear bricklady:

I re-read all your posts on this thread, to learn something new, look at things anew. I wasn’t clear about the ages before. You are about 37 and he is 47. You met May 2016. You met his children for the first time July 2016. Previously in your life you had a few long term relationships (including a marriage), none lasting more than 3 years or so. He had a long term relationship, a marriage, and currently has three children, one 23 year old daughter and two minor children. His wife left him, is living far away from them all, and her contact with her children is infrequent. Recently he felt that the relationship with you was moving too fast and that neither he nor his children- at least the two minor children- were ready for a new wife/ mother figure in their lives.

Interestingly enough, he suggested you move in with them December last year and it was you who were not ready, correct? Noticing how currently attached you are to them (“I love his family and I long to live there, to be part of it, every day for the rest of my life”), can you tell me why you did not take him up on his offer to move in with them all December 2016?

Reminders: on 2/26 you wrote that you told Brickman something like this: “You need time, no problem. Take it. I support you 1000%. I want you to work through this and be happier. There is no time table on how long this will take.”- need to keep your word to him.

Your therapist told you, you wrote on 3/2: “Don’t ask when can you see the kids or him. He knows you want to. Let him be the one to contact you.”

On 3/7, you wrote: “My therapist suggested that I reply to him when he contacts me but not to initiate anything.”

A new thought regarding your entry on 3/8: “his son is having a hard time with missing his mom and balancing his stress and schoolwork… He and the kids have had a lot of talks about their mom and the kids are having trouble processing everything.”- I am having a clearer understanding of the challenge here: the kids’ mother’s departure from their lives is still fresh for them. They are not ready for a “new mom”- you. Reads to me that he made the right choice, changing the relationship with you so to give his kids- and himself- time and opportunity to process what happened.

Waiting for your answer, if you will, to the question above, and your thoughts and feelings otherwise.

anita