Dear Lea:

No, I don’t think it will be a terrible thing to leave him, for the following reasons and with the following (suggested) understandings:

1. When you leave him, you are not ending the “black and white”/ no color living and entering a life of ongoing Color. There will be difficulties, down times, challenges, distress and sometimes black-and-white.

2. When you leave him, there is no guarantee of anything.

3. You leave him with an honest explanation, telling him your thoughts and feelings as-they-are; no convenient thinking applied, just the truth.

* His focus on his work is well established. He will most likely continue his focus and his life will not be significantly interrupted.

* Regarding the fact that you changed but he didn’t; meaning it may be unfair for you to change the rules after accepting them- it is okay, because you did not plan this. And because when you got together with him, he had the opportunity to get to know you, to get to know your past and your mindset. If he had taken advantage of that opportunity (and if you did answer him honestly, which you would have, correct?), then he would have learnt that you may need more time to recover before getting into a relationship with him.

He didn’t take that  opportunity because, I assume, he considered such talking to be “mumbo jumbo”- well, he is responsible for his choice, to not get to know you better before (and after) getting married with you.

anita