Good morning,
The weekend was,blah. Brickman never responded on Friday if the kids could go with me to the festival. On the way there Saturday he messaged me that one kid was sick and the other was grounded so they couldn’t go with me. I was a little lost and he gave me directions to the festival and he chattered about how their plans for the weekend had changed.  I had a nice time with my friends but it wasn’t the same. I wasn’t going to ask if I could stop by and see them. He knew I was in town so I just left and went home.

Yesterday I went out to lunch and for a long walk afterwards. I briefly went on social  media to see that brickman had taken the kids out to a local park with a lake. I guess they magically got better and ungrounded (that is be being bitter).  He does not want to see me, nor does he want the kids to see me.

Last week my therapist gave me some homework. One was to send the kids a card, which I did. The second was to write a letter to Brickman, whether I send it or not is up to me. The letter is to tell him how hard this has been on me for the past month.  I have been trying to do this for a week and it just come out whiny which isn’t how I want to letter to be if I end up sending it. I wonder if I should even send it honestly.

I just wish I could flip the switch in my head so I would not think and miss them during this time.  In the month we have been broken up I have not once received any indication that he or the kids miss me. It breaks my heart all over again. Time. He asked for time. It’s been a month today. I know it will take longer than a month to work through stuff. I dunno. I wish he would communicate with me what he is doing to work on himself and how its going. He tells me that he “takes every day, one day at a time” but that’s about it.  I will see my therapist in a hour and we’ll work on it I’m sure.