Hi Ramone,

The first thing that came to mind is to talk about what’s on your mind, specifically what you’re calling codependency. Since you’re just getting to know her, you go easy, not too much depth right now. But in a growing and healthy relationship, I think you’ll want to say something like, “Hey there’s this thing I’ve been working on. Sometimes I feel scared that people I care about might leave. I’m working on this by talking with a therapist to understand where it comes from, and I’m reading such and such books.”

See the two parts? 1) Gently and honestly sharing a personal challenge you have. 2) Sharing what you’re doing about it so that you and she will know it’s your goal to manage it. (If you get closer, she may even become a partner, but not a fixer, in supporting your work)

I think if you pretend this part of you doesn’t exist, it may come up at a time when neither you nor she is prepared to deal with it.

Go easy, enjoy this new interest!