Dear Ramone:

Instead of looking into the vast future in front of you, worrying, cut the future into small, doable chunks of one phone call, one evening, one day at a time. Sometimes one moment, one hour at a time. Stay as present as you can during the small chunks of time that you spend with her.

Whatever you communicate to her, never put yourself down; you can share anything and everything you choose to share in a respectful way, respectful toward yourself. When you share a weakness, balance it with a bit of strength so that you present yourself realistically, vulnerable and resourceful.

Remember she is not … perfect (whatever it is, perfect), and it is okay for you to not be that either. As you share with her, ask her questions as well, gently, let her share, built a win-win relationship so that the two of you help each other.

Keep taking care of yourself, managing anxiety, using healthy distractions, keep your body active, and post here anytime, for more input, if you’d like.

anita