Dear wildoceanflower:

You wrote: “I used to have a friend who contacted me when she had achieved things: career, promotion, bought a house, marriage, baby all in that order… I felt she was making herself feel better by seeing I wasn’t getting anywhere”-

notice: if career promotion, buying a house, getting marriage, having a baby (and all in that order), is supposed to make a person happy, why did she try to make herself feel better? Wasn’t she already happy?

It is similar to this: you had a 7 year relationship with a man who was committed to you. Someone reading this may think: if only I was in a seven year relationship, with a man who was committed to me, then I would be happy.

Funny how we chase happiness, thinking it is THERE, while people who ARE there, are not really there. Everyone’s looking. And yet, we fail to see that millions of people doing financially very well, married, with children… living in big cities with lots of people and all physical accommodations are on anti- depressants. Why?

I understand your physical pain. Calming yourself down has lots of benefits, one of which is less pain.

Engaging in tasks does provide you with relief from obsessing, so that works. When not engaged in a task, maybe listening to relaxing guided meditation will help?

anita