Dear Mia:

You wrote: “when I was a kid, instead of just ignoring the fighting I would sit… listening”- a child does not ignore danger, just like any other animal. An animal/ human becomes alert when sensing danger. You were not nosy, you didn’t have the option of ignoring.

You wrote: Yes, I do think i have my mom thoughts in my ears when looking at men”- this is what I meant by “your mother’s voice in (your) head”

We all have our parent/s in our head, at least the parent who influenced us the most. The “Superego”- Freud term- is a mental representative of our parent, speaking to us via thoughts.

Let’s say you meet a man who is decent. Your Superego will work overtime to find the proofs that he is unloving, untrustworthy and should be rejected. The “proofs” can be any imperfections, the slightest contradictions in what he says… anything.

Your Superego may keep you “Forever single”- unless…. ???

anita