Dear Mia:

I re-read some of your previous posts on the thread: “With my dad she (your mother) desperately wanted him to love her… she gave him too many chances”- maybe you don’t want to be like your mother, desperate for a man and you make sure that you are not, that you do not give men “too many chances”-

You wrote, in that same paragraph I quoted above: “my father was quite childish and irresponsible.. and my mother because so in love made excuses for him”- this may be why growing up you “always wanting him to save his money rather than spend it”- wanting him to be responsible and love your mother.

I wonder if you made a decision in your mind, early on, that as long as your mother is not loved (her theme was, you stated, that she is unloved, not only by your father but by others, like her own father), it is not okay for you to be loved. I wonder if this belief is underneath your great discomfort when the last man in your life put you on a pedestal…?

anita