I’ll be straight up with you. He doesn’t respect you and the fact that he finds it *ridiculous* means that he’s not supportive.

You are putting too much pressure on yourself. Your reaction to these things may not be very healthy, HOWEVER, it makes sense for you to react in such a way considering your past (1), what it has resulted into, such as anxiety and PTSD (2), and your level of self-esteem (3).

Until you can get healthy and have a good relationship with yourself, you can’t have a good relationship with someone else. Right now, you’re trying to do way too much (save the relationship you have with someone who’s not willing to work through it with you while also trying to ‘grow’). You’re experiencing emotional overload. Good relationships require work, but they’re not hard and they don’t make people feel miserable like this. They’re also a two-way street. Trying to become a “porn positive” person is a surface level problem that would fix itself if you actually felt at peace internally and were with someone more understanding.

The choice is yours.