Hi V,

I didn’t intend to come across as though “the” solution is for you to leave your boyfriend, or that I even know what the solution is for you. I have no idea, and no one knows what is best for you except you. Thinking about questions such as “What can YOU change?” can help to focus your thinking and energy on the enormous power already inside you when there is something you want to be different in your life (like the specific situation you’re posting about).

It seem that one thing you have decided to change is speaking up, or speaking up more emphatically, through couples therapy that you think your boyfriend is projecting his frustrations on you, and that he doesn’t realize it. I think your willingness to speak up in this way is great! Go for it!