Hi V,

Lots of really good insight from people here! Honestly, my first thought when I read your post was that your boyfriend is a jerk. Sorry to be so blunt, and I’m sure he has his good qualities but his behavior is not supportive and doesn’t sound like what you need in your life right now. Maybe couple’s counseling will help. If he’s willing to go with you, that’s a great thing! It will be very telling what happens after the counseling because it definitely doesn’t sound to me like you are the only one that has work to do. I think it’s pretty awful that he would say you’re being ridiculous when you get upset about this stuff. I agree with the above posters about his lack of respect for you and I really like Anita’s reframing of your post title…it does indeed sound like this relationship is getting in the way of your own healing. How are you supposed to make progress getting yourself healthy when he’s constantly putting up obstacles and tests for you (even if this is not his intention)? I have relationship anxiety too and I understand how easy it is to blame yourself for these problems. And yea, anxiety is a bitch and that needs to be dealt with just for your happiness and peace alone. But he is a major contributor to the issues you are both having. He’s showing a complete disregard for your feelings. I wouldn’t be comfortable or want to see those images either!!