Anita, thanks for your response. The life experiences you’ve had that you have described to me do not chime with mine at all. I have no issues (I’m aware of) with my mother or father regarding trust, and I don’t believe I ever thought money and ‘stuff’ brings happiness. I distrust my own instincts, and my own senses. I have come to have an understanding of the world that makes it clear to me that everything at all times is purely subjective. So, yes, in that respect I would not trust the views of family members, but I see no malice or deliberate attempts to misinform, only an honest ignorance. No one has ever called me worthless. But old certainties have disappeared and I find the result of this to be inertia and a certain resignation to just having to go through the motions of existence. I can’t be certain of anything so feel I can do nothing. I have been down too many blind alleys regarding spirituality, faith, ‘gut feelings’, following passions, blah blah and now my brain is tired of trying to find meaning and never succeeding. It’s been a relief these past few weeks to simply exist, to walk, watch tv, eat junk, go to work, go to sleep, and basically disengage from trying to find anything deeper. Sad in a way, but my life is not so bad.